APOLOGIES

I got angry with someone and was so nasty I felt badly about it hours later. I called my sister for an opinion on the apology I was working on and she stopped me and said, "You're not apologizing. You're saying you feel badly about how you were getting along, that's not taking responsibility for you being a total bitch."

Gotta love a sister.

She'll tell it to you like no one. And the fact is, she's right.

There is nothing worse than being on the receiving end of a tepid apology. The kind that says, if you weren't so awful, I wouldn't be either.

Thanks to her I was able to do what you're supposed to do in an apology, which is not ever about making excuses for your behavior. I simply named what I did wrong and apologized for it. I'm glad I did it because I don't feel badly anymore, but that doesn't change how much I hate giving them out. I wish I could live a life where I never have to say I'm sorry, but that's for the movies, yo. I have to say I'm sorry whenever I have a lingering bad feeling, because I can't afford to be afraid to run into people.

Today's practice was all about twists. Your twists get at the root of forgiveness. xo

RADICAL RELAXATION

You know that instruction on the airline safety video, about putting your own oxygen mask on first? It's actually a design for living.

A mentor once told me that the only way to be available to help other people is to be rested. I thought this was criticism of my overbooked lifestyle, but her words stayed with me. Even as I pared down my life to a simpler state, I often found myself staying up too late. Sacrificing sleep so I didn't "miss out" on anything. Rushing around to get "extra" things done.

When I am in balance with my meditation and exercise and life, I know it's not possible to miss a thing or fail to get something done. I'm still here, aren't I?

More deeply, however, it became easier to see how rushing, being tired, or feeling deprived in any way keeps me from being available to other people. When I'm missing sleep or a meal or connection with others, I can't give wholly because there's a part of me that's worried about getting what's mine.

And so, in the interest of being more present, my practice today is to rest deeply – my biggest challenge, I rarely skip a meal or a phone call! – so that I can be available to put the oxygen mask on others.

Winter Solstice 2012

Today is the day for rebirth, a day to let go of the past, a day to get ready. It's not the end of the world. Summer is coming...

I love this picture. First of all because it's a beautiful reminder of offering; I took it on one of the holiest days of the year at a Jain ceremony in Shravanabelagola (about 158 kms from Bangalore, India). Secondly, for it's Real World rainbow of classic archetypes. The Doer (the guy with the pot), the Watcher (the guy to the left), the Judge (the gal in saffron), and the Boss Lady (the pointy-fingered one). Talk about trying to control something for no reason at all! What, she's going to change the direction the liquid flows?

It's good to remember, on this, the shortest day of the year, that we don't have control. The answer is acceptance. Even when we find ourselves snatching back control, or doing when being is enough, or judging when there is no need, or being too passive when action is required.

As an offering, we're doing 108 Sun Salutations here in Mastic. The Sun Salutation contains all the postures of the yoga practice, inversion, folding, balance and strength. That's the entire practice, you're not really trying to get anywhere. Try it in recognition of the fact that the days will be getting longer, despite that winter has just begun.

To paraphrase Buddha, it only takes one candle to light a thousand. Be that candle. Let go of things you don't need anymore, and remember, gratitude, gratitude, gratitude.

The pressure to become disconnects us from our ability to love If my neighbor would turn her music down, then I could meditate. If I could lose ten pounds, then I'd get a date. If I didn't have so much trouble with anger, then I'd have more friends. If I was younger... if if if, then then then. We've become so obsessed with self-improvement that we've forgotten how to love in the here and now. And what about those things that will never change?  “Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth.”  ― Pema Chödrön What can keep us from changing is an inability to see ourselves clearly. The truth about ourselves is far less difficult to swallow than our fear of looking. Because what do we do if we finally see and then still don't get what we want?  “Success is getting what you want, happiness is wanting what you get.”  ― W.P. Kinsella If we are constantly looking for more from this person, this moment, this object, we are not seeing anything clearly. We are seeing only what we believe we are lacking. The practice of yoga and meditation is what has enabled me to see myself, with all my outdated/outmoded survival tools, and keep seeing it until I can smile at my own folly.  Just for today, practice the art of being content.

Restorative Yoga, now at Chelsea Piers

"All yoga is restorative," one of my teachers says.

And so it's true. Yet classes can be designed especially to promote well-being.

The class I'm now thrilled to offer at Chelsea Piers combines movement, self-massage, aromatherapy, meditation and breathwork, all designed to bring you to a state of harmony within your body.

Classes are at 10:30am on Monday and Thursday. See you there.

Namaste.

KIDS YOGA!

I'm thrilled to announce I'll be taking over the kids yoga class at Chelsea Piers this fall. Just look at 'em!

Seriously though, besides the joy of working with the fearless, working with kids allows me to combine my love of storytelling along with the joy of yoga. We tell stories based on poses to help the kids remember the poses, develop some basic skills, and most of all enjoy being strong.

Come!

The end of summer, a time for reflection

I met a woman in Trivandrum who told me she was a "yoga therapist," meaning that she combined yoga postures with therapy. At the time I thought, well, isn't that kinda like the department of redundancy department? In my experience, yoga has been like therapy, just without the talking part. The physical practice of yoga (asana) has made it possible for me to clear emotional, mental and spiritual hurdles that kept me stuck for many years. This works because all our experiences imprint us just as physically as they do mentally. Put another way, as my Guruji said, "Sister, there is no mind apart from the foot."

Understanding this arose from regular meditation practice. Living it would undoubtedly come from more meditation practice, and I do my best. But the fact is, I still do the majority of my meditation on my yoga mat.


Gomateshwara at a Jain temple in Karnataka, one of the largest monolithic statues in the world, one of the seven wonders of India.

Let's face it, asana is hard work. It's just not normal to engage the breath and energy locks while simultaneously exerting and relaxing oneself. During practice I go into a kind of a trance. This has allowed me to see how it's possible off the mat to be having two separate experiences--a person might challenge me in some way that is not relevant to our interaction. To move toward my goal of finding the best in every person I encounter (lofty? yes. doable? well, not so yet and maybe never, but that's ok, too), I need to find a way to stay in our interaction without letting the weight of my personal history interfere. 

This time of year is the perfect example. I dread the end of summer, and so, as the days get shorter, I'll be focusing interactions. How we work with each other, and as a meditative reflection during postures.

Hope to see you in class!

Namaste.